Divine appointments and how to create from a space of Shunya

Upholding values with compassion

Gaurav: So my question is, how do you ensure that you live from a space of compassion and forgiveness, and yet don’t compromise on your values, you don’t compromise on your rights? And I’m also thinking how different people would have managed different leaders worldwide, people like Nelson Mandela, people like Mahatma Gandhi, who choose not to compromise on their core values and get to live their life from a space of compassion and forgiveness.

Deepa: So let me tell you, let’s go back a little bit. Right after that incident, you know, a few weeks and a few months passed by. And I literally felt that I wasn’t being valued for what I bring, right. And I wasn’t bringing out my potential. And so I remember, that was just one day, and this is an accumulation of things. And there was one day when I was walking into the office. And I still remember the doors of the office, when I walked in, it just felt like iron doors and pushed through that. And this was a kind of an illusion, I saw and there was this long corridor with rooms on both sides. And I turned and looked into one room, I saw people sitting and I saw people sitting on toilet seats. Now it was my imagination that was perhaps running wild, of course, people are not sitting on toilet seats. But, at that moment, that’s how it was. And so I said, what’s happening, and I turned and I looked at the other room and I said this is what I see. And then I said, This is what people are doing to me here. And I just touched my face, and I was sweating. I immediately ran to the restroom, wash my face. And that’s when the awakening came from that deep hurt and the deep pain of not being valued, not being identified for what I can bring. That’s when the warrior in me was evoked.

So, you know, in xMonks, you talk about warriors. And you asked the question to me before in our conversation deeper, when did that warrior in you get installed. And there were several moments in life, there was not just one. So every time we are hurt, every time we experience pain, the war we have a choice. And so we have a choice to evoke that warrior within us all. We have a choice to play by the rules and play a cat on the wall and allow the situation and allow the universe to decide for us. And if we do that, then we choose to be in harmony and we choose to play safe, but we choose not to stand up for ourselves.

Gaurav: Yesterday I was discussing how all of us have a very basic need or have a need to be heard or need to be seen and have a sense of belongingness as I’m just listening to you as you mentioned that you did not feel valued. Somehow I could experience that in my body, I experienced the same emotion that I experienced yesterday when we’re discussing not being seen, not being heard. In that moment when you felt that you’re not being valued. What happened? What shifted for you?

Deepa: We play by the rules because we want to belong. Love and belonging are what we search for all the time. When we choose to be different, when we choose to play a different game, we are going to lose people along the way. When you choose to get out of your comfort zone, and protect your Chateau and protect your castle, and protect your potential, and that evolutionary potential that exists within you. That is when you’re going to create a way for yourself. And as you create a new way for yourself, you’re going to lose people along the way. That is for sure. Because you trigger something in them.

How do we define our Tolerance?

Gaurav: I come across so many women and ladies, who are doing extremely well in their corporate career, and yet, they’re not happy on the personal front. They sort of feel that they carry with themselves, despite the fact that they’re living with so much resentment. And yet, they don’t take the first step. So if you were to hold the space for them, and tell them, or give them a piece of advice here, what are the things that they need to look at? What is the measure of tolerance that they should look for? How would you address this?